When Kids Ask Big Questions: Reddit’s Best Responses About Death, Divorce, Sex, and Identity
Kids are naturally curious. They ask big, uncomfortable, profound questions at the most unexpected times — often while you’re washing dishes, buckling seatbelts, or trying to mind your own business in the grocery line.
Reddit’s parenting communities are filled with these moments:
“How do I explain death to a 5-year-old?”
“What do I say when my kid asks why mom and dad don’t live together?”
“What do I do when my child asks where babies come from?”
“How do I talk about gender or identity without confusing them?”
The most upvoted responses across these threads share something powerful:
👉 Kids don’t need perfect explanations. They need honest, age-appropriate ones.
👉 Simple > complicated.
👉 Reassuring > clinical.
👉 Truthful > evasive.
This article summarizes the most trusted strategies parents, educators, and child-development specialists echo online — grounded in real guidance, not invented theories.
Let’s explore how to handle life’s biggest questions without panic… and with the confidence your kid deserves. 💛
🌱 Introduction: Why Big Questions Matter More Than Perfect Answers
Children ask big questions not because they expect adult-level detail, but because they’re trying to make sense of their world.
And the way you answer sets a foundation for:
- Trust (“I can come to you when I’m confused”)
- Emotional safety (“Hard topics are allowed here”)
- Future communication (“You won’t shut me down or shame me”)
Reddit’s parenting communities emphasize a universal truth:
👉 If you don’t answer, your child will find answers somewhere else — often less gently.
Your goal isn’t to be a perfect expert.
Your goal is to be a calm, reliable guide.
💐 1. When Kids Ask About Death
Death is one of the most common “big questions” on Reddit — often asked at ages as young as three.
⭐ Age-Appropriate Explanation Strategy
Most upvoted advice suggests:
✔ Use clear words. Avoid euphemisms like “sleeping” or “went away.”
✔ Explain the basics simply. Kids need concepts, not philosophy.
✔ Reassure safety and stability. Young children worry about their security next.
🧸 Example Script (Ages 4–7)
“Death means the body stops working. They can’t breathe, eat, or feel pain anymore. It’s very sad because we’ll miss them. But your body is healthy and working, and you’re safe.”
🌧 Widely shared Reddit tips:
- Answer only the question they asked; don’t overwhelm them.
- Repeat explanations — kids revisit death to process it gradually.
- Show your own sadness appropriately; it models healthy emotions.
💔 2. When Kids Ask About Divorce or Separation
Reddit is full of stories where children ask:
“Why don’t you and Daddy live together?”
“Did I do something wrong?”
The #1 upvoted rule:
👉 Make it about adult decisions, not the child.
⭐ Age-Appropriate Explanation Strategy
✔ Simple
✔ Non-blaming
✔ Reassuring
✔ Consistent
💬 Example Script (Ages 5–10)
“Mom and Dad make better decisions when we’re not living together. This is not because of you. We both love you, and that will never change.”
🌈 Helpful phrases cited often on Reddit:
- “Families can look different and still be families.”
- “You didn’t cause it, and you can’t fix it.”
- “We’re still on your team.”
🚫 What Reddit strongly warns against
- Giving adult details or blaming the other parent
- Using kids as therapists or messengers
- Making promises you can’t control (“We might get back together someday…”)
🌸 3. When Kids Ask About Where Babies Come From (Sex & Reproduction)
These are legendary Reddit posts because parents panic — but kids usually want basics, not a biology lecture.
⭐ Age-Appropriate Explanation Strategy
👇 Based on child-development experts and consistent Reddit advice:
Ages 3–6: The simple version
“Babies grow in a special place inside the body called a uterus. Adults help create a baby using parts of their bodies that fit together. It’s something grown-ups do.”
Ages 7–10: The honest-but-basic version
“A sperm from one person and an egg from another come together, and the baby grows in the uterus.”
Ages 11+: The accurate, respectful version
Introduce consent, boundaries, relationships, and safety — not just mechanics.
🔥 The “Keep It Neutral” Method (Reddit-favorite)
Parents often repeat this advice:
👉 Kids take their emotional cues from your tone. Stay calm, and they will too.
🧼 What Reddit warns against
- Over-shaming (“That’s inappropriate!”)
- Lying (“A stork brings babies”) — because kids WILL discover the truth
- Overloading (“Here’s everything about adult intimacy in one talk…”)
🧠 4. When Kids Ask About Gender, Identity, or Why People Are Different
Questions like:
“Why does that person look like a boy but sound like a girl?”
“Am I a boy or a girl? How do I know?”
“Why does she have two moms?”
These pop up frequently across parenting subreddits, especially as kids encounter diverse people at school and online.
⭐ Age-Appropriate Explanation Strategy
✔ Keep the explanation factual
✔ Normalize differences
✔ Avoid assigning fear or judgment
✔ Reassure that curiosity is okay
🌈 Example Script (Ages 4–10)
“Some people have different ways of being themselves. What matters is that everyone gets to feel comfortable and happy with who they are.”
🔍 Reddit’s most emphasized guidance
- Follow your child’s lead — ask, “What made you wonder about that?”
- Stick to developmentally appropriate details
- Avoid dismissing identity questions as “just a phase” — children explore and learn through questions
- Model respect in your language
🛑 What Reddit commonly cautions
- Don’t pathologize or panic. Curiosity ≠ crisis.
- Don’t shame questions — they’re normal and healthy.
☀️ 5. The Three Rules for Answering ANY Big Question
Across thousands of upvoted posts, the same pattern emerges:
Rule 1: Keep it short. Kids understand simple clarity better than long explanations.
Rule 2: Keep it honest. Your child’s trust matters more than your comfort.
Rule 3: Keep it open. Let them ask more questions.
Use the magic phrase:
👉 “What made you think about that?”
It tells you what they’re really asking — and prevents you from oversharing.
🌼 Final Thoughts: You Don’t Need Perfect Answers — You Just Need to Be Present
Kids look to you not for flawless knowledge, but for grounding.
They want to know:
- Is this topic safe to talk about?
- Will you still love me if I’m confused?
- Can I come to you when something feels big?
When you answer with honesty, calmness, and compassion, you create a home where curiosity is welcomed — not feared.
And in that environment, kids learn not only what things mean…
but also that they are safe, supported, and free to grow. 🌱💛
You don’t need the perfect script.
You just need openness, patience, and the courage to have the conversation.
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